Thursday, August 12, 2010

that time i choked to death on a coffee coolata

Today I imagined how awful it would be to aspirate to death while drinking a Coffee Coolata from Dunkin' Donuts.

There is that feeling, when you get to the bottom of a drink that requires a straw, that you are tempting fate. Especially with those icey coffee drinks that require super suction as you near the end. I'm terrified that I wont be satisfied unless the cup is empty, but I'm also fearful that one last pull could be my last if an ice chunk breaks free and zips up the straw and into the back of my throat, followed by a stream of milky chocolate, just like Augustus from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

I surmised that not only would I suffer the embarrassment of being the girl that choked to death on a drink, but I'l also be the girl who died while drinking a sickeningly sweet, obnoxious girly drink from a chain restaurant.

I considered retiring from drinking such drinks. Said I'm not going to go out like that. It's not worth it. Definitely. Not. Worth. It.

But they are so good! Espcially when they hit the back of the throat on a hot day. Fate be tempted. I'll have another.

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