Friday, July 22, 2011

Mrs. CrabApple

I swear I wasn't trying to keep up with the Joneses, especially my friend Sarah Jones, whom had recently purchased stock In Apple with her first generation iPad, her iPhone and a MacBook. I wasn't even "trying to hear it" when a very rich friend offered to give me an iPad.

I just knew I had to have my very own iPad 2. It was something I considered to be the mother of all iTouch, and since I was ready to upgrade from my iTouch, a very touching gift from my former colleagues for my 30th birthday two years ago, the iPad seemed like the logical step. For Mother's Day, my husband agreed to let me ogle them at the Apple Store (he knew I would buy one on the spot).

Still, I should have done my research. If I had, I probably wouldn't have gotten this tablet, even though that glass front reflects your smile when you hold it's slender body in your arms, and the black Apple logo on the back makes you feel like taking a bite out of your own awesomeness.

The very first disappointment came almost immediately after purchase upon learning that Apple and Adobe don't like each other, therefore preventing iPad owners the pleasure of watching anything that requires a Flash Player. I'm sure this is spelled out all the Internet in most geek hideouts, but I missed that slice of info and have been paying the price, to the (i)tune of $800 for the cost of the device, since.

Now, I'm not a complainer by nature, but if I'm paying a boat load of money for something that should guarantee happiness and mind-numbing entertainment for hours, I expect to feel lobotomized instead of bitter and full of buyer's remorse.

My 8 year-old nephew saved his money and bought his own iPad last week. When his mother told me he was having trouble viewing some of his favourite gaming sites, I felt sick for having neglected to tell them about the quarrel betwixt Apple and Adobe, thus resulting child very disappointed child. Damnit, Apple, I didn't do it, you did! Why am I taking the fall for your shortcomings?

A more recent blow came when a very dear friend recommended a show to be watched on an Internet television site. He went as far as to say it was my kind of humour. I was eager to check it out and find out if my friend had me pegged. After downloading the app, and spending twenty minutes registering on the aforementioned site, I learned that the iPad doesn't support the app, even though it boldly states it does. IT DOESN'T!!!

Apple, at my core, I want to love you. But you leave me feeling like I just ate a worm whenever I'm denied viewing pleasure. And that happens way more than it should. I'm not condoning or condemning, but I will say this: next time, I won't be taken for a ill-informed follower.

Until I buy a MacBook Pro.